s to understand all the elements of the incident we are trying to forgive. We may be forgiving God, a person who harmed or hurt us, or a person who has harmed or hurt someone we love. We may be forgiving our parents, our society, our world, or ourselves. Forgiveness does not mean that we are condoning hurtful actions. It doesn’t mean that we accept inappropriate actions of others. Forgiveness does not me“The important thing to remember when it comes to forgiving is that forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right; it makes you free.” --Stormie Omartian

How do we know if we need to forgive someone, something, or even ourselves? We know because we feel a gnawing sadness inside of us, although we may not know the cause.

The interesting thing about choosing not to forgive, is that it hurts us more than anyone else. Your inability to forgive anything or anyone in your world may hurt someone else a bit, but I guarantee it hurts you and your world a hundred times more.

As a visual example, think of two goal posts set twenty-feet apart. A more content and peaceful life rests just after the goal posts — all you have to-do is run through the twenty-foot space, blindfolded and voila, you will be closer to the life you want. It will be a little tough, granted your are blindfolded — but there is a big enough area where you should be able to break through to the other side with a few attempts. Unforgiveness is like an eighteen-foot wall. Place that between your goal posts and now try running toward that other side. Maybe you’ll get through. Most likely, you’ll get some bad bruises, or maybe a broken bone, and probably give up, believing that there really isn’t a space — just a brick wall. Like a wall, unforgiveness blocks our path.

Forgiveness Brings Freedom

An unforgiving nature is very costly in our lives. We may find ourselves attaching to other people in unhealthy ways, punishing other people, or losing hope in the world and in our peers.

The first step in forgiveness is to understand all the elements of the incident we are trying to forgive. We may be forgiving God, a person who harmed or hurt us, or a person who has harmed or hurt someone we love. We may be forgiving our parents, our society, our world, or ourselves. Forgiveness does not mean that we are condoning hurtful actions. It doesn’t mean that we accept inappropriate actions of others. Forgiveness does not me

us more than anyone else. Your inability to forgive anything or anyone in your world may hurt someone else a bit, but I guarantee it hurts you and your world a hundred times more.

As a visual example, think of two goal posts set twenty-feet apart. A more content and peaceful life rests just after the goal posts — all you have to-do is run through the twenty-foot space, blindfolded and voila, you will be closer to the life you want. It will be a little tough, granted your are blindfolded — but there is a big enough area where you should be able to break through to the other side with a few attempts. Unforgiveness is like an eighteen-foot wall. Place that between your goal posts and now try running toward that other side. Maybe you’ll get through. Most likely, you’ll get some bad bruises, or maybe a broken bone, and probably give up, believing that there really isn’t a space — just a brick wall. Like a wall, unforgiveness blocks our path.

Forgiveness Brings Freedom

An unforgiving nature is very costly in our lives. We may find ourselves attaching to other people in unhealthy ways, punishing other people, or losing hope in the world and in our peers.

The first step in forgiveness is to understand all the elements of the incident we are trying to forgive. We may be forgiving God, a person who harmed or hurt us, or a person who has harmed or hurt someone we love. We may be forgiving our parents, our society, our world, or ourselves. Forgiveness does not mean that we are condoning hurtful actions. It doesn’t mean that we accept inappropriate actions of others. Forgiveness does not me

ll be closer to the life you want. It will be a little tough, granted your are blindfolded — but there is a big enough area where you should be able to break through to the other side with a few attempts. Unforgiveness is like an eighteen-foot wall. Place that between your goal posts and now try running toward that other side. Maybe you’ll get through. Most likely, you’ll get some bad bruises, or maybe a broken bone, and probably give up, believing that there really isn’t a space — just a brick wall. Like a wall, unforgiveness blocks our path.

Forgiveness Brings Freedom

An unforgiving nature is very costly in our lives. We may find ourselves attaching to other people in unhealthy ways, punishing other people, or losing hope in the world and in our peers.

The first step in forgiveness is to understand all the elements of the incident we are trying to forgive. We may be forgiving God, a person who harmed or hurt us, or a person who has harmed or hurt someone we love. We may be forgiving our parents, our society, our world, or ourselves. Forgiveness does not mean that we are condoning hurtful actions. It doesn’t mean that we accept inappropriate actions of others. Forgiveness does not me

broken bone, and probably give up, believing that there really isn’t a space — just a brick wall. Like a wall, unforgiveness blocks our path.

Forgiveness Brings Freedom

An unforgiving nature is very costly in our lives. We may find ourselves attaching to other people in unhealthy ways, punishing other people, or losing hope in the world and in our peers.

The first step in forgiveness is to understand all the elements of the incident we are trying to forgive. We may be forgiving God, a person who harmed or hurt us, or a person who has harmed or hurt someone we love. We may be forgiving our parents, our society, our world, or ourselves. Forgiveness does not mean that we are condoning hurtful actions. It doesn’t mean that we accept inappropriate actions of others. Forgiveness does not me

s to understand all the elements of the incident we are trying to forgive. We may be forgiving God, a person who harmed or hurt us, or a person who has harmed or hurt someone we love. We may be forgiving our parents, our society, our world, or ourselves. Forgiveness does not mean that we are condoning hurtful actions. It doesn’t mean that we accept inappropriate actions of others. Forgiveness does not mean that we forget how much we hurt. Forgiveness simply means that we acknowledge the deep pain we feel, but choose to move past that pain. We forgive those who contributed to our pain and let their actions become part of our past. We let go.

We can dislike what someone has done to us, but we can still forgive them and allow them to be someone new, instead of freeze-framing them in that hurtful place.

Sometimes looking at this in a different perspective can be extremely helpful. Think back and recall a time when you did something hurtful to someone. Perhaps you said something “off the cuff ” that hurt someone’s feelings, or perhaps you did something you were ashamed about. Take a few moments to recollect the most vivid example that you can. Now think through the series of events that led up to your action. You did something hurtful and how did the other person respond? Did they eventually forgive you? What would happen if they hadn’t? What would happen if the person had stayed angry at you for that action? You made a mistake, a bad decision, or didn’t think before acting, and if they didn’t forgive you, they would never be able to see you how you are now. Unforgiveness chains people to their painful actions and pasts. We freeze that painful time. Can you see how that person would be missing all you could offer? Or how that person could become so focused on the pain you caused, that they would miss the other good happening around them?

A classic example is the spiteful lover. You have probably met someone like this or have seen a likeness depicted in a movie. They have been “wronged”