Added for You - Relationships

No Bull
Gertchrude, my old milk cow was a dear soul and dependable as they come, still she was no Bull and neither is what I am about to say!As I have transitioned my Inspection Business to Upper Michigan, I keep running into one specific problem that befuddles me. I suppose I should tell you first that in my Market, many listed homes are vacant. Sometimes the owners live out of state, sometimes there is a death in the family and often, people leave the area for career pursuits (usually returning at some point). in any case, Imagine meeting a client at a property to begin an Inspection only to find that the water, Gas or Electricity have been shut off. This brings up an interesting question...several actually. You might first ask, why didn't the Inspector know the Utilities were shut off? More on that later. The next logical question might be: So the water is shut off, what's the big deal, just turn it on...right? The short answer is: wrong, wrong, wrong! Lets say, for example that I do turn on the main water valve as it comes into the home. I begin by inspecting the plumbing, not difficult as I soon learn several pipes have burst (home was not winterized) and there's a hole the size of Niagara Falls underneath the water heater. So, just quickly shut off the water. Not so

ogress up and down through the stages. Endure through it.

·Avoid stuffing your feelings; be open to them no matter how much it hurts. Suppressing your emotions only puts a temporary band-aid on your suffering and prolongs your healing. It’s ok to cry.

·Avoid self-medicating your feelings. Beware of alcohol, drugs, gambling, work, food, sex, or other vices to comfort yourself during this difficult time. These can distract from your grieving work and become addictions.

·Depression and anxiety are common emotions during this time period. Should their experience interfere with your daily functioning or accomplishment of daily tasks, seek assistance from a license mental health therapist.

·Earlier losses and unfinished business from the past can be triggered when you encounter relationship loss. Be prepared to deal with these as well.

·Avoid making major life decisions. Allow yourself time to get more grounded and centered first. Grief can have a tricky way of clouding our judgment if not careful.

·Avoid jumping into another relationship right away. Grieve this one

Start Selling On eBay - Getting Started On The Right Foot
You've started your own eBay business and, even though it's part time right now, you know it's going to become a huge success. You are able to see the day when you can set your own hours, set your own dress code and call your own shots. The world is your oyster and you are raring to go. Just be careful you don't fall into the one of the major work-at-home traps.Congratulations! But before you go any further, it's a good idea to insure that your new ebay business is built on a solid foundation.One of the most often seen problems behind the failure of a home business is the lack of productivity. Many people, particularly when starting a part time eBay business, find that they just don't get things done.When you have no one who you are responsible to, you may find that procrastination and poor time management begin to rear their ugly heads. It's important that you take some of the productive elements of a regular 9-5 job and incorporate them into your budding eBay business. Here are some pointers:First: Setting a schedule can be crucial to your success. Simply saying "I'll get some auctions listed this evening" just doesn't cut it. It leaves too much room for something else to come up.Set a schedule and stick to it. Maybe this is 9 to 3 when your

Introduction

“It just hit me out of the blue when Mike left me. We hadn’t really been together all that long, but I thought I’d finally found my true soul mate. Now it’s over and I feel totally rejected, like nobody’s ever going to want me again. It’s so hard finding a decent guy and now I have to start all over again; I don’t know if I can. I feel like a failure at relationships. I just don’t know what to do.” --Eric

“Steve and I broke up after eight years together. The house feels so empty without him and the pain can be so unbearable at times. The loneliness is the worst part for me and it’s like there’s this big hole inside of me, this nagging hurt that won’t go away. I think about him all the time and wonder if I’m ever going to get over him. I’ve never felt more alone and confused in my life.” --Josh

The ending of a relationship, for whatever reason, can be one of the most painful experiences that we can go through. Having made ourselves vulnerable by opening our hearts to another and loving him to the fullest capacity almost feels spiritual; now it’s been replaced with a crushing sense of loss and emptiness that feels quite devastating. The length of time together, the quality of the relationship, and the level of emotional investment in it all determine the intensity of the grief experienced when you and your lover part ways.

This article will explore the grieving process involved with relationship breakups and offer tips and strategies for facilitating your grief to move you toward healing so you can start your life over on better footing.

The Grieving Experience

The experience of breaking up with a boyfriend or partner can be likened to a death, with layer upon layer of losses resulting. Not only is his absent physical presence felt as a loss, but other losses like hopes, dreams, expectations, identity, security, and trust compound and complicate your adjustment. Life as you knew it has been shaken and your vision for your future has been altered. You experience a roller-coaster of emotions. It’s common to feel rejected, abandoned, insecure, powerless, and hopeless. Confusion and feeling a sense of failure and regret are common, as well as varying degrees of anger, depression, and guilt. You might even become preoccupied with your ex-lover, obsessing about him and thinking constantly about your life together and what he might be doing now.

In her book, “Healing A Broken Heart”(1997), Nancy Joy Carroll, ED.D outlines four stages of relationship loss that are common in the aftermath of a breakup. They include the following:

Stage 1: Shock & Denial: This usually occurs immediately after the split-up. You might feel numb, believe that this can’t be happening and minimize the reality of the situation. You feel sad, angry, confused, and might blame yourself.

Stage 2: Despair: You begin to see that the ending is inevitable and experience profound sadness, loneliness, depression, and impaired concentration. You might try to bargain with your partner to try to convince him to give the relationship another chance. You idealize your partner. You feel unlovable, wondering if you can make it on your own, and feel a loss of identity.

Stage 3: Detachment: Anger becomes more pronounced and you begin to hold your partner more responsible for the relationship split. This stage is particularly helpful as your anger helps to create some distance for you from him and you’re not as enmeshed.

Stage 4: Recovery: In this final stage, you come to an acceptance of the loss and learn to “let go”, redefining yourself as a single man again and feel more empowered to cultivate new experiences and opportunities for personal growth.

Tips Along the Grief Path You are going through a major shift in your identity. Be patient and kind with yourself as you journey through the grieving process. Keep these tips in mind as you forage through the pain you’re experiencing to prevent any blocks or impediments along the path of healing. It can be a rocky road, but staying focused and conscious will promote a smoother and more successful transition to the “new you.”

·Everyone grieves at their own rate and pace; there’s no timeline, so don’t rush yourself. It can sometimes take years.

·As you go through the stages of loss, be aware that healing is not linear. Expect to progress up and down through the stages. Endure through it.

·Avoid stuffing your feelings; be open to them no matter how much it hurts. Suppressing your emotions only puts a temporary band-aid on your suffering and prolongs your healing. It’s ok to cry.

·Earlier losses and unfinished business from the past can be triggered when you encounter relationship loss. Be prepared to deal with these as well.

·Avoid making major life decisions. Allow yourself time to get more grounded and centered first. Grief can have a tricky way of clouding our judgment if not careful.

·Avoid jumping into another relationship right away. Grieve this one

How Lucrative Is Buy To Let Loan?
A personal loan company is the right choice for borrowers who have been denied loans in the past or are irked by the long delay associated with bank loan and long drawn out procedures. Today, finding all types of loan has become such a simple task that any one can apply for a personal loan. Just with a snap of his fingers.No more does one feel the financial crunch when there is a gamut of loan to suit varied purpose and draw loans of any amount, in so far as the borrower has the capacity to pay back with the interest rate. The need for loans is not just confined to one with the financial predicament but also to the one who wants to reap more by investing a small amount in some real estate. This has given rise to buy-to-let loans.Buy to let loans allows a borrower to draw out loan to purchase a property not to live but to rent it out to someone else. In fact, borrowing to buy the property offers the advantage of “gearing up” - any gains on the increase in the property’s value apply equally to the amount that one has borrowed, as well as his own deposit.Buy to Let is a lucrative deal. It’s a way of investing one’s hard earned money, building up a regular income and creating a good asset to count up on in the future. A borrower can choose an ideal place to live in, fo

d with a crushing sense of loss and emptiness that feels quite devastating. The length of time together, the quality of the relationship, and the level of emotional investment in it all determine the intensity of the grief experienced when you and your lover part ways.

The Grieving Experience

In her book, “Healing A Broken Heart”(1997), Nancy Joy Carroll, ED.D outlines four stages of relationship loss that are common in the aftermath of a breakup. They include the following:

·Everyone grieves at their own rate and pace; there’s no timeline, so don’t rush yourself. It can sometimes take years.

·As you go through the stages of loss, be aware that healing is not linear. Expect to progress up and down through the stages. Endure through it.

·Avoid stuffing your feelings; be open to them no matter how much it hurts. Suppressing your emotions only puts a temporary band-aid on your suffering and prolongs your healing. It’s ok to cry.

·Earlier losses and unfinished business from the past can be triggered when you encounter relationship loss. Be prepared to deal with these as well.

·Avoid making major life decisions. Allow yourself time to get more grounded and centered first. Grief can have a tricky way of clouding our judgment if not careful.

·Avoid jumping into another relationship right away. Grieve this one

Disastrous Floods Kill Tens of Thousands Every Year
Every year disastrous floods kill tens of thousands of people. In fact every year in the last four decades, no less than 30,000 people were killed due to flooding in the world. Most years it was well over 100,000. Floods are nothing new to human civilizations, as humans need to live near water supplies and areas of drainage or large rivers.This makes them very vulnerable to large floods. Flooding is very much part of the cyclical flow of water and it is neither good nor evil; it is just Mother Nature's way of doing things. Babylonians left us stories of the disastrous floods. If you'll recall we ended one year recently with a giant tsunami killing over 200,000 people.During hurricanes you are much more likely to die from the flooding by drowning then you are to die from the high winds or something falling on you. The storm surges of Hurricane Katrina killed far more people than the winds did. Extreme weather brings extreme rain and that rain runoff often over flows rivers and causes huge avalanches that bury people alive.In the United States we have zoning ordinances and building codes which take into consideration the hundred year flood and we spend millions of dollars on every large project simply planning for that potentially eventuality building large ditches

n, as well as varying degrees of anger, depression, and guilt. You might even become preoccupied with your ex-lover, obsessing about him and thinking constantly about your life together and what he might be doing now.

In her book, “Healing A Broken Heart”(1997), Nancy Joy Carroll, ED.D outlines four stages of relationship loss that are common in the aftermath of a breakup. They include the following:

·Everyone grieves at their own rate and pace; there’s no timeline, so don’t rush yourself. It can sometimes take years.

·As you go through the stages of loss, be aware that healing is not linear. Expect to progress up and down through the stages. Endure through it.

·Avoid stuffing your feelings; be open to them no matter how much it hurts. Suppressing your emotions only puts a temporary band-aid on your suffering and prolongs your healing. It’s ok to cry.

·Earlier losses and unfinished business from the past can be triggered when you encounter relationship loss. Be prepared to deal with these as well.

·Avoid making major life decisions. Allow yourself time to get more grounded and centered first. Grief can have a tricky way of clouding our judgment if not careful.

·Avoid jumping into another relationship right away. Grieve this one

Selling Techniques For New IT Consultants
Selling techniques are as varied as the people who practice them. There are, however, some proven selling techniques for IT Consultants just starting out. Here is a list:Personal visit. This selling technique is going to get you the best results: Highest touch, most personal contact, most effective.Personal phone call. When you use this selling technique you are still providing high touch and so it is quite effective. The trick to getting the most mileage out of your phone call is to send a follow-up note immediately after. This part of phone contact is often ignored and will set you apart from your competition.Send a note or letter. This is not as personal or high touch but it is a popular selling technique nonetheless. Things you can do to improve the effectiveness of this selling technique are to send a handwritten note and customize the message to make it more personal.Send an email. This is a low touch and minimally personal selling technique but many people feel comfortable with this type of communication. Make sure you spell check your message carefully and send only one email at a time. This selling technique will fall flat if the "To:" line is full of 100+ names.Set Yourself a Quota. This selling technique provides discipline. M

you begin to hold your partner more responsible for the relationship split. This stage is particularly helpful as your anger helps to create some distance for you from him and you’re not as enmeshed.

·Everyone grieves at their own rate and pace; there’s no timeline, so don’t rush yourself. It can sometimes take years.

·As you go through the stages of loss, be aware that healing is not linear. Expect to progress up and down through the stages. Endure through it.

·Avoid stuffing your feelings; be open to them no matter how much it hurts. Suppressing your emotions only puts a temporary band-aid on your suffering and prolongs your healing. It’s ok to cry.

·Earlier losses and unfinished business from the past can be triggered when you encounter relationship loss. Be prepared to deal with these as well.

·Avoid making major life decisions. Allow yourself time to get more grounded and centered first. Grief can have a tricky way of clouding our judgment if not careful.

·Avoid jumping into another relationship right away. Grieve this one

JP Morgan Entrepreneur Profile
John Pierpoint Morgan, described as a rational- but cold hearted man, was arguably the foremost banker in history. More than once, he revived a suffering United States economy from depression; and administered the organization of U.S. Steel: the world's first billion-dollar corporation in 1901.This legendary man, was born in Hartford, Connecticut to Junius Spencer Morgan, also a famous tycoon, and Juliet Pierpoint. He studied to become an accountant abroad, primarily in Germany and after his studies was able to find work at the New York City banking house of Duncan, Sherman & Company. After 3 years in New York with the banking house he became agent for his father's London firm.After his father's death, Morgan was the sole beneficiary of his father's firm. It required a decent amount of leadership as many affairs were left unattended when his father died. Morgan proved to be a punctual leader and reorganized his fathers firm, making it one of the most prominent banking firms in the country.Morgan, curiously, employed a full time astrology. To become a millionaire takes luck, he said. To become a billionaire takes good astrology. Morgan, through his father's company had strong financial links with the London financial market and was able to provide capital for growin

ogress up and down through the stages. Endure through it.

·Avoid stuffing your feelings; be open to them no matter how much it hurts. Suppressing your emotions only puts a temporary band-aid on your suffering and prolongs your healing. It’s ok to cry.

·Earlier losses and unfinished business from the past can be triggered when you encounter relationship loss. Be prepared to deal with these as well.

·Avoid making major life decisions. Allow yourself time to get more grounded and centered first. Grief can have a tricky way of clouding our judgment if not careful.

·Avoid jumping into another relationship right away. Grieve this one completely first.

·Ignore others’ attempts to tell you how you should feel or that you should “be over it by now.” They didn’t live your experience and they are typically projecting their own discomfort with loss and grief.

·Avoid being friends with your ex initially. It’s common for gay men to remain friends with their ex-boyfriends; decide for yourself if this is something that you would be able to do, and if so, allow yourself some time and space first to grieve. It can be very difficult to transition from “life partner” to “just friends” immediately after a breakup. You need time to heal to be able to appropriately view your ex in a new role.

Additional Healing Tips & Strategies

·Provide a daily structure for yourself to keep grounded. Stay busy, but not too busy that you get distracted from your emotional work.

·Get connected with others. Surround yourself with positive, supportive friends and get engaged with life, no matter how hard it is. Join a grief support group in your area to be with others who can share similar circumstances with you and normalize your grief.

·Find a renewed sense of purpose and passion. Join an organization or a cause you care about, take a class, cultivate a new hobby, get involved! Bring healthy pleasure into your life.

·Learn to be comfortable being alone. Do some self-soothing and nurturing activities. Find value in self-renewal.

·Take this opportunity to learn more about yourself. Work with a life coach to help you learn about healthy relationships and crafting a new vision for your future. Recognize patterns in your relationships and identify areas where you can improve your relationship skills.

·Challenge negative self-talk by replacing with more enhancing, affirming, coping thoughts. Identify your strengths and value to boost your self-esteem. Use the power of affirmations and write them on index cards for quick reference.

·Remove items that remind you of your ex-lover and tuck them away somewhere so they’re not a constant visual trigger for you. There will come a time when they won’t be so jarring to you.

·Create a ritual of closure for your relationship (eg. throw a “I’m moving on” party with close friends, etc.) Find a way to commemorate the relationship and what it meant to you to aid in “letting go.”

·Create a scrapbook or collage of memories of your relationship when you’re ready.

·Release your feelings productively. Take out several sheets of paper and at the top of each write an emotion you feel (sad, angry, hurt, resentful, etc.). Then down the side of the full length of the paper, write “I feel…” and fill in the blank about that particular emotion to release all the feelings you have regarding that as it pertains to your relationship grief. Do some self-soothing afterwards.

·Keep a journal or write your ex-lover a letter sharing your feelings and what the relationship meant to you, etc. DO NOT SEND THIS TO YOUR EX! This is for your therapeutic benefit only. Or talk to an empty chair pretending your ex is sitting there and practice processing your emotions this way. This can be extremely cathartic.

Conclusion

Breaking up is hard to do, as an old song once put it. Realize that your pain is a tribute to the significance that this relationship held for you and that you are a survivor. How you choose to deal with the breakup will impact the direction of your life and how soon you will be able to rebuild your life. Identify healthy outlets that you can channel your feelings toward, pinpoint potential blocks that could get in the way of your healing process, and allow yourself to be open to love again when you’re ready. A new beginning with opportunity and possibility awaits you on the other side of the rainbow.

Reference: Carroll, Nancy Joy. Healing A Broken Heart: A Recovery Handbook for Relationship Loss. Brentwood, TN: Life Skills Publications, 1997.

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Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter fi

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To be successful in eBay, you will need to outsell other sellers in your category. There are eight proven techniques where successful eBay sellers employed them. These technique are not difficult to implement if you wish to. This article discusses these techniques.

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Added for You - Gay Breakups: When the Rainbow Ends

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