"The fog is so thick that the continent is cut off from England."

" I run so fast sometimes I get to second bases ahead of my shadow." - Satchel Page or Pee Wee Reese

There is humor based on false compliments and double messages

"You sir, are a brave man. Not everybody has the courage to whine and whimper in public."

"I'm sorry for constantly running

There is humor based on the obvious

"I have never been convicted or even been accused of being bright. There is insufficient evidence."

"Your elevator does not go all the way to the top."

"I said for some reason people do not seem to like me, you Fathead, didn't you hear me the first time?"

"No, I have never belong to any organized political party. I have been a Democrat all my life." - Will Rogers

minister, after weaving down the main street in his car and being stopped by the town
constable: "Officer, I was drinking water out of that bottle."
officer: "What you have in that bottle is wine, not water."
ministser: "Alleluia, He's done it again!"

There is humor based on deliberate misuse of language or logic.

"Don't ever misunderestimate me." - George W. Bush

"You can fool some of the people all of the time. Those are the ones you want to concentrate on." - George W. Bush

"Managing a great team was 80 percent player talent and 60 percent managerial genius." - Casey Stengel

weather forecast: "Due to a deepening tropical seclusion we can expect intense scottered thundershatters. It may also rain hail-sized golfballs."

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." - Yogi Berra

question: "Should I do this or do that?"
answer: " Yes."

"Let's be reasonable. We'll do it my way."

"Heads I win and tails you lose."

There is humor based on exaggeration.

doctor: "That wart on your nose needs to come off. It is precancerous."
patient: "Could I get a second opinion, would you mind?"
doctor: "Heck no, it's ugly too!"

"The fog is so thick that the continent is cut off from England."

" I run so fast sometimes I get to second bases ahead of my shadow." - Satchel Page or Pee Wee Reese

There is humor based on false compliments and double messages

"You sir, are a brave man. Not everybody has the courage to whine and whimper in public."

"I'm sorry for constantly running

"No, I have never belong to any organized political party. I have been a Democrat all my life." - Will Rogers

minister, after weaving down the main street in his car and being stopped by the town
constable: "Officer, I was drinking water out of that bottle."
officer: "What you have in that bottle is wine, not water."
ministser: "Alleluia, He's done it again!"

There is humor based on deliberate misuse of language or logic.

"Don't ever misunderestimate me." - George W. Bush

"You can fool some of the people all of the time. Those are the ones you want to concentrate on." - George W. Bush

"Managing a great team was 80 percent player talent and 60 percent managerial genius." - Casey Stengel

weather forecast: "Due to a deepening tropical seclusion we can expect intense scottered thundershatters. It may also rain hail-sized golfballs."

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." - Yogi Berra

question: "Should I do this or do that?"
answer: " Yes."

"Let's be reasonable. We'll do it my way."

"Heads I win and tails you lose."

There is humor based on exaggeration.

doctor: "That wart on your nose needs to come off. It is precancerous."
patient: "Could I get a second opinion, would you mind?"
doctor: "Heck no, it's ugly too!"

"The fog is so thick that the continent is cut off from England."

" I run so fast sometimes I get to second bases ahead of my shadow." - Satchel Page or Pee Wee Reese

There is humor based on false compliments and double messages

"You sir, are a brave man. Not everybody has the courage to whine and whimper in public."

"I'm sorry for constantly running

"Don't ever misunderestimate me." - George W. Bush

"You can fool some of the people all of the time. Those are the ones you want to concentrate on." - George W. Bush

"Managing a great team was 80 percent player talent and 60 percent managerial genius." - Casey Stengel

weather forecast: "Due to a deepening tropical seclusion we can expect intense scottered thundershatters. It may also rain hail-sized golfballs."

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." - Yogi Berra

question: "Should I do this or do that?"
answer: " Yes."

"Let's be reasonable. We'll do it my way."

"Heads I win and tails you lose."

There is humor based on exaggeration.

doctor: "That wart on your nose needs to come off. It is precancerous."
patient: "Could I get a second opinion, would you mind?"
doctor: "Heck no, it's ugly too!"

"The fog is so thick that the continent is cut off from England."

" I run so fast sometimes I get to second bases ahead of my shadow." - Satchel Page or Pee Wee Reese

There is humor based on false compliments and double messages

"You sir, are a brave man. Not everybody has the courage to whine and whimper in public."

"I'm sorry for constantly running

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." - Yogi Berra

question: "Should I do this or do that?"
answer: " Yes."

"Let's be reasonable. We'll do it my way."

"Heads I win and tails you lose."

There is humor based on exaggeration.

doctor: "That wart on your nose needs to come off. It is precancerous."
patient: "Could I get a second opinion, would you mind?"
doctor: "Heck no, it's ugly too!"

"The fog is so thick that the continent is cut off from England."

" I run so fast sometimes I get to second bases ahead of my shadow." - Satchel Page or Pee Wee Reese

There is humor based on false compliments and double messages

"You sir, are a brave man. Not everybody has the courage to whine and whimper in public."

"I'm sorry for constantly running

"The fog is so thick that the continent is cut off from England."

" I run so fast sometimes I get to second bases ahead of my shadow." - Satchel Page or Pee Wee Reese

There is humor based on false compliments and double messages

"You sir, are a brave man. Not everybody has the courage to whine and whimper in public."

"I'm sorry for constantly running down my wife's cooking. Give her credit. After all, she broke the dog of eating off the table." - Red Skelton

"Those who are all wrapped up in themselves come in small packages." - Benjamin Franklin

"You must be a big wheel because you keep going in circles."

"Anthony Eden is like an over-ripe bannana: all full of black spots on the outside, soft and squishy on the inside." - Winton Churchill

Churchill to Lady Astor: "You, madam, ar ugly."
Lady Astor to Churchill: "You, sir are drunk."
Churchill to Lady Astor: "But in the morning I will be sober."

Lady Astor to Churchill: "Sir, if we were married I would put poison in your tea."
Churchill to Lady Astor: "If I were your husband I would drink it."

There is humor which uses stories to make the point.

A painter went after the contract to paint the church. He planned to siphon off some of the paint and sell it on the side. The plan worked well: he got the contract to paint the church inside and out. He kept thinning the paint and selling off buckets of good paint. The plan was working. Nobody noticed and he was getting rich.

Then one day a huge dark cloud formed over the church. It began to rain, inside and outside of the church until every last drop of new paint had been washed away. Next, the cloud parted to allow a very bright beam of light to come down from the cloud to the panter grovelling face down in the mud, terrified. A voice came down the light ray and it said: "Repaint. Repaint. Go and thin no more."

The moral of this article? Humor goes a long way towards defusing tension and stress. Use it liberally, both at home and at work. When all else fails, say something funny.

And, oh yes, make sure the humor is ap