mortality. This sense of ageing is accentuated by the change in generational status. By the time we are in our thirties, we are expected to think and behave like a parent. We can postpone this for a little while but a man in his forties is usually regardeAccording to Daniel Levinson’s research into man's evolutionary Seasons, only 20 per cent of people find themselves in a manageable transition period; a time in which they attempt to understand themselves and the changes they are experiencing; a period in which to come to terms with their losses and explore possibilities for growing and enriching their lives. The other 80 per cent go through an anxious crisis period, when every aspect of life comes into question. They become horrified by what is revealed, full of recriminations against themselves and those around them. Carrying on as before is not an option for them. They must choose a new path and/or modify the old one. It is thus impossible for relationships to continue untouched in this turmoil where one partner might be going through a crisis period, feeling unhappy, unfulfilled and full of fear, guilt and regret.

Man’s greatest pain comes from dealing with the young/old awareness– the fact that the youth in him is dying and he is faced with his own mortality. This sense of ageing is accentuated by the change in generational status. By the time we are in our thirties, we are expected to think and behave like a parent. We can postpone this for a little while but a man in his forties is usually regarde

which to come to terms with their losses and explore possibilities for growing and enriching their lives. The other 80 per cent go through an anxious crisis period, when every aspect of life comes into question. They become horrified by what is revealed, full of recriminations against themselves and those around them. Carrying on as before is not an option for them. They must choose a new path and/or modify the old one. It is thus impossible for relationships to continue untouched in this turmoil where one partner might be going through a crisis period, feeling unhappy, unfulfilled and full of fear, guilt and regret.

Man’s greatest pain comes from dealing with the young/old awareness– the fact that the youth in him is dying and he is faced with his own mortality. This sense of ageing is accentuated by the change in generational status. By the time we are in our thirties, we are expected to think and behave like a parent. We can postpone this for a little while but a man in his forties is usually regarde

ull of recriminations against themselves and those around them. Carrying on as before is not an option for them. They must choose a new path and/or modify the old one. It is thus impossible for relationships to continue untouched in this turmoil where one partner might be going through a crisis period, feeling unhappy, unfulfilled and full of fear, guilt and regret.

Man’s greatest pain comes from dealing with the young/old awareness– the fact that the youth in him is dying and he is faced with his own mortality. This sense of ageing is accentuated by the change in generational status. By the time we are in our thirties, we are expected to think and behave like a parent. We can postpone this for a little while but a man in his forties is usually regarde

partner might be going through a crisis period, feeling unhappy, unfulfilled and full of fear, guilt and regret.

Man’s greatest pain comes from dealing with the young/old awareness– the fact that the youth in him is dying and he is faced with his own mortality. This sense of ageing is accentuated by the change in generational status. By the time we are in our thirties, we are expected to think and behave like a parent. We can postpone this for a little while but a man in his forties is usually regarde

mortality. This sense of ageing is accentuated by the change in generational status. By the time we are in our thirties, we are expected to think and behave like a parent. We can postpone this for a little while but a man in his forties is usually regarded by people in their twenties as a full generation ahead. In the minds of those who are younger, he is ‘Dad’ rather than ‘friend’, more parent than a brother. However, this message is likely to come as a surprise, and then as an irritation, to a man trying to hang on to his youth. To quote one writer, “I used to go to the elderly for advice. Now, before I knew it, I am the elderly.”

That realisation often carries much anxiety. In fact, a 42-year-old man got up one morning in the UK, said goodbye to his wife without any warning and went to live alone for seven years ‘to discover’ who he was. That is the power of this phase on our lives. But, the discovery of our inner selves tends to frighten rather than to reassure us. The child/parent becomes the full parent somewhere along the journey as she loses her own parents. At this point she knows more than ever that she too is going to die. Even if she lives a long life, there are more years behind her than lie ahead, and that awareness of her own mortality te