Once you have answered the four questions, take your statement and perform the turnarounds.

1. Turn your statement around to the opposite. For example, if your statement is, "My mom should stop criticizing me," write down, "My mom shouldn't stop criticizing me," and find three genuine examples of how that could be just as true or truer. Go in and find how this turnaround could be just as true or truer than the original statement/belief which is causing you so much stress

   She shouldn't because she is just expressing her own opinion, and she has a right to do that. She shouldn't because sometimes her criticism actually helps me re-evaluate my decisions and come to new and better conclusions. She shouldn't because that is her way, and perhaps it is just me who sees it as criticism anyway (when I take it personally).



2. Turn your statement around to the other. For example, "I should stop criticizing my mom," and find three genuine examples of how that is as true or truer.

   That is definitely more true. I am always criticizing my mom. I should stop criticizing her because I don't like how it feels when I am doing it. It doesn't seem to make her feel any better. If I want her to stop criticizing me, it feels better, more empowering to start

   Why Most Of Your Sexual Experiences Leave Much To Be Desired
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   A few years back I suffered because I thought my mom and I did not have a great relationship. It was sad and frustrating. Of course, I thought it was all her fault. I mean, she was the mom. Right? She should be the one supporting me, loving me unconditionally, and being kind to me. She was not -- I thought -- and I suffered a lot.

   I struggled for several years thinking that my mom should change; she shouldn't criticize me and talk to me harshly. I rarely, if ever, looked at my own part in this mother-daughter relationship. I put all the blame on her and expected her to change before things could get better between us.

   What this looked like was me judging my mom all the time, finding fault in her just about as much or more than she found fault in me. This was a sad time for me because I really believed that I was doing everything right. I was being nice. I was learning new ways to communicate. I was being honest. I was doing everything I could to feel better. It didn't work, and it didn't work because I was focused completely on changing her, rather than looking inward. I thought my mom had to be different in order for me to love her and feel loved by her.

   Luckily, I came across a book by Byron Katie entitled, Loving What Is. In this book Katie teaches a simple yet powerful process of inquiry that she calls The Work of Byron Katie. The Work, as it is now known throughout the world, is simply four questions and what Katie calls a turnaround.

   I have used this process over the past few years consistently and have come to a completely different (and more loving) understanding about my mom and our relationship, and most importantly my part in this whole drama. I now feel completely at peace with who my mom is. I no longer need or want her to be different than she is. I am happy and at peace, and can honestly say that I truly love and appreciate her as my mother and friend. This has been huge for me. In fact, it has changed my entire life, how I view myself and others, and how I now process stress, anger, frustration -- anything that would keep me from a life of pure peace and joy.

   If you have had a rough time with your mother lately (or if it's been rocky for quite some time), try using your stressful thoughts about her to find your own freedom and experience the love that flows from a clear mind and open heart.

   Try The Work of Byron Katie!

   Start by writing down all the things that frustrate or annoy you about your mom, basically all the things you think she needs to do differently in order for you to be happy, to love her, to appreciate her, to want to be in the same room with her.

   Here are some sample statements you could take to inquiry, just to get you started:

   • Mom should stop criticizing me.
   • I need mom to accept me for who I am.
   • Mom thinks she is better than me.
   • Mom doesn't appreciate all the wonderful things I do for her.
   • I need mom to love me even if I don't have a job.
   • Mom should let me do what I want to do with my life.
   • Mom shouldn't yell at me.
   • Mom should take better care of herself.

   Take one of these statements (or one from your own list) and walk yourself through inquiry using the following four questions. Open your mind and answer the questions honestly and completely. Do not try to do it "right," "be spiritual" or "kind." Take your time and just see what comes up for you, honestly.

   The Work of Byron Katie - Four Questions

   1. Is that true?
   
   
   2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
   
   
   3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
   
   
   4. Who would you be without that thought?
   
   

   So it might look like this:

   My mom should stop criticizing me.

   Is that true?

   Yes, I hate when she does that. She is so mean.

   Can you absolutely know that she should stop criticizing you?

   Yes, why would she want to do that anyway? It makes me feel awful.

   How do you react when you believe the thought that your mom should stop criticizing you?

   I feel sad. I am angry at her. I begin to criticize her. I defend myself and argue with her. My chest gets tight. I feel sick to my stomach. I wonder why she ever had me in the first place. It feels awful. I don't want to call her or talk to her. I don't care about her, and that hurts.

   Your answer to question three gives you a portrait of how you live your life with this belief.

   Who would you be without the thought that your mom should stop criticizing you?

   I wouldn't take her words so personally. I might be open to her ideas and more receptive to hearing what her opinion is. I would treat her more kindly. I might understand that she is really only trying to help me, in her own way. I might ask her to explain, to help me see it her way, so I can learn and grow from her observations. I would be more relaxed, not angry and frustrated. I would just see that she has a different opinion than I do, apparently.

   Your answer to question four gives you a picture of what your life could be like if you no longer believed this thought -- and nobody is telling you NOT to have this thought. "Letting go" of thoughts can be difficult, if not impossible, but questioning them, finding the truth, can change your belief system forever.

   Once you have answered the four questions, take your statement and perform the turnarounds.

   1. Turn your statement around to the opposite. For example, if your statement is, "My mom should stop criticizing me," write down, "My mom shouldn't stop criticizing me," and find three genuine examples of how that could be just as true or truer. Go in and find how this turnaround could be just as true or truer than the original statement/belief which is causing you so much stress

      She shouldn't because she is just expressing her own opinion, and she has a right to do that. She shouldn't because sometimes her criticism actually helps me re-evaluate my decisions and come to new and better conclusions. She shouldn't because that is her way, and perhaps it is just me who sees it as criticism anyway (when I take it personally).

   
   
   2. Turn your statement around to the other. For example, "I should stop criticizing my mom," and find three genuine examples of how that is as true or truer.

      That is definitely more true. I am always criticizing my mom. I should stop criticizing her because I don't like how it feels when I am doing it. It doesn't seem to make her feel any better. If I want her to stop criticizing me, it feels better, more empowering to start

      What is Bioperine and How Does it Help Weight Loss?
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      Katie. The Work, as it is now known throughout the world, is simply four questions and what Katie calls a turnaround.

      I have used this process over the past few years consistently and have come to a completely different (and more loving) understanding about my mom and our relationship, and most importantly my part in this whole drama. I now feel completely at peace with who my mom is. I no longer need or want her to be different than she is. I am happy and at peace, and can honestly say that I truly love and appreciate her as my mother and friend. This has been huge for me. In fact, it has changed my entire life, how I view myself and others, and how I now process stress, anger, frustration -- anything that would keep me from a life of pure peace and joy.

      If you have had a rough time with your mother lately (or if it's been rocky for quite some time), try using your stressful thoughts about her to find your own freedom and experience the love that flows from a clear mind and open heart.

      Try The Work of Byron Katie!

      Start by writing down all the things that frustrate or annoy you about your mom, basically all the things you think she needs to do differently in order for you to be happy, to love her, to appreciate her, to want to be in the same room with her.

      Here are some sample statements you could take to inquiry, just to get you started:

      • Mom should stop criticizing me.
      • I need mom to accept me for who I am.
      • Mom thinks she is better than me.
      • Mom doesn't appreciate all the wonderful things I do for her.
      • I need mom to love me even if I don't have a job.
      • Mom should let me do what I want to do with my life.
      • Mom shouldn't yell at me.
      • Mom should take better care of herself.

      Take one of these statements (or one from your own list) and walk yourself through inquiry using the following four questions. Open your mind and answer the questions honestly and completely. Do not try to do it "right," "be spiritual" or "kind." Take your time and just see what comes up for you, honestly.

      The Work of Byron Katie - Four Questions

      1. Is that true?
      
      
      2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
      
      
      3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
      
      
      4. Who would you be without that thought?
      
      

      So it might look like this:

      My mom should stop criticizing me.

      Is that true?

      Yes, I hate when she does that. She is so mean.

      Can you absolutely know that she should stop criticizing you?

      Yes, why would she want to do that anyway? It makes me feel awful.

      How do you react when you believe the thought that your mom should stop criticizing you?

      I feel sad. I am angry at her. I begin to criticize her. I defend myself and argue with her. My chest gets tight. I feel sick to my stomach. I wonder why she ever had me in the first place. It feels awful. I don't want to call her or talk to her. I don't care about her, and that hurts.

      Your answer to question three gives you a portrait of how you live your life with this belief.

      Who would you be without the thought that your mom should stop criticizing you?

      I wouldn't take her words so personally. I might be open to her ideas and more receptive to hearing what her opinion is. I would treat her more kindly. I might understand that she is really only trying to help me, in her own way. I might ask her to explain, to help me see it her way, so I can learn and grow from her observations. I would be more relaxed, not angry and frustrated. I would just see that she has a different opinion than I do, apparently.

      Your answer to question four gives you a picture of what your life could be like if you no longer believed this thought -- and nobody is telling you NOT to have this thought. "Letting go" of thoughts can be difficult, if not impossible, but questioning them, finding the truth, can change your belief system forever.

      Once you have answered the four questions, take your statement and perform the turnarounds.

      1. Turn your statement around to the opposite. For example, if your statement is, "My mom should stop criticizing me," write down, "My mom shouldn't stop criticizing me," and find three genuine examples of how that could be just as true or truer. Go in and find how this turnaround could be just as true or truer than the original statement/belief which is causing you so much stress

         She shouldn't because she is just expressing her own opinion, and she has a right to do that. She shouldn't because sometimes her criticism actually helps me re-evaluate my decisions and come to new and better conclusions. She shouldn't because that is her way, and perhaps it is just me who sees it as criticism anyway (when I take it personally).

      
      
      2. Turn your statement around to the other. For example, "I should stop criticizing my mom," and find three genuine examples of how that is as true or truer.

         That is definitely more true. I am always criticizing my mom. I should stop criticizing her because I don't like how it feels when I am doing it. It doesn't seem to make her feel any better. If I want her to stop criticizing me, it feels better, more empowering to start

         Natural and Organic Arthritis Pain Relief
         Arthritis is a joint disorder featuring inflammation. A joint is an area of the body where two different bones meet. A joint functions to move the body parts connected by its bones. Arthritis literally means inflammation of one or more joints. Arthritis is frequently accompanied by joint pain. Joint pain is referred to as arthralgia and that is when pain relief formulas.An arthritis or joint pain is caused mainly due to suppression of digestive fire. This results in poor digestion,which leads to accumulation of undigested wastes in the body resulting in buildup of waste matter. The toxins reach different parts of body and get accumulated at joints. The disease term arthritis is looks like the singular in number but the disease is comprised of more than 100 distinct conditions and can affect people at any stage of the life.The two most common form of arthritis pain are Osteoarthritis and Rheumatoid Arthritis with the symptoms like back or hip pain, knee pain, arm pain, wrist pain and pain or inflammation of
         could take to inquiry, just to get you started:
         • Mom should stop criticizing me.
         • I need mom to accept me for who I am.
         • Mom thinks she is better than me.
         • Mom doesn't appreciate all the wonderful things I do for her.
         • I need mom to love me even if I don't have a job.
         • Mom should let me do what I want to do with my life.
         • Mom shouldn't yell at me.
         • Mom should take better care of herself.

         Take one of these statements (or one from your own list) and walk yourself through inquiry using the following four questions. Open your mind and answer the questions honestly and completely. Do not try to do it "right," "be spiritual" or "kind." Take your time and just see what comes up for you, honestly.

         The Work of Byron Katie - Four Questions

         1. Is that true?
         
         
         2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
         
         
         3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
         
         
         4. Who would you be without that thought?
         
         

         So it might look like this:

         My mom should stop criticizing me.

         Is that true?

         Yes, I hate when she does that. She is so mean.

         Can you absolutely know that she should stop criticizing you?

         Yes, why would she want to do that anyway? It makes me feel awful.

         How do you react when you believe the thought that your mom should stop criticizing you?

         I feel sad. I am angry at her. I begin to criticize her. I defend myself and argue with her. My chest gets tight. I feel sick to my stomach. I wonder why she ever had me in the first place. It feels awful. I don't want to call her or talk to her. I don't care about her, and that hurts.

         Your answer to question three gives you a portrait of how you live your life with this belief.

         Who would you be without the thought that your mom should stop criticizing you?

         I wouldn't take her words so personally. I might be open to her ideas and more receptive to hearing what her opinion is. I would treat her more kindly. I might understand that she is really only trying to help me, in her own way. I might ask her to explain, to help me see it her way, so I can learn and grow from her observations. I would be more relaxed, not angry and frustrated. I would just see that she has a different opinion than I do, apparently.

         Your answer to question four gives you a picture of what your life could be like if you no longer believed this thought -- and nobody is telling you NOT to have this thought. "Letting go" of thoughts can be difficult, if not impossible, but questioning them, finding the truth, can change your belief system forever.

         Once you have answered the four questions, take your statement and perform the turnarounds.

         1. Turn your statement around to the opposite. For example, if your statement is, "My mom should stop criticizing me," write down, "My mom shouldn't stop criticizing me," and find three genuine examples of how that could be just as true or truer. Go in and find how this turnaround could be just as true or truer than the original statement/belief which is causing you so much stress

            She shouldn't because she is just expressing her own opinion, and she has a right to do that. She shouldn't because sometimes her criticism actually helps me re-evaluate my decisions and come to new and better conclusions. She shouldn't because that is her way, and perhaps it is just me who sees it as criticism anyway (when I take it personally).

         
         
         2. Turn your statement around to the other. For example, "I should stop criticizing my mom," and find three genuine examples of how that is as true or truer.

            That is definitely more true. I am always criticizing my mom. I should stop criticizing her because I don't like how it feels when I am doing it. It doesn't seem to make her feel any better. If I want her to stop criticizing me, it feels better, more empowering to start

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            feel awful.

            How do you react when you believe the thought that your mom should stop criticizing you?

            I feel sad. I am angry at her. I begin to criticize her. I defend myself and argue with her. My chest gets tight. I feel sick to my stomach. I wonder why she ever had me in the first place. It feels awful. I don't want to call her or talk to her. I don't care about her, and that hurts.

            Your answer to question three gives you a portrait of how you live your life with this belief.

            Who would you be without the thought that your mom should stop criticizing you?

            I wouldn't take her words so personally. I might be open to her ideas and more receptive to hearing what her opinion is. I would treat her more kindly. I might understand that she is really only trying to help me, in her own way. I might ask her to explain, to help me see it her way, so I can learn and grow from her observations. I would be more relaxed, not angry and frustrated. I would just see that she has a different opinion than I do, apparently.

            Your answer to question four gives you a picture of what your life could be like if you no longer believed this thought -- and nobody is telling you NOT to have this thought. "Letting go" of thoughts can be difficult, if not impossible, but questioning them, finding the truth, can change your belief system forever.

            Once you have answered the four questions, take your statement and perform the turnarounds.

            1. Turn your statement around to the opposite. For example, if your statement is, "My mom should stop criticizing me," write down, "My mom shouldn't stop criticizing me," and find three genuine examples of how that could be just as true or truer. Go in and find how this turnaround could be just as true or truer than the original statement/belief which is causing you so much stress

               She shouldn't because she is just expressing her own opinion, and she has a right to do that. She shouldn't because sometimes her criticism actually helps me re-evaluate my decisions and come to new and better conclusions. She shouldn't because that is her way, and perhaps it is just me who sees it as criticism anyway (when I take it personally).

            
            
            2. Turn your statement around to the other. For example, "I should stop criticizing my mom," and find three genuine examples of how that is as true or truer.

               That is definitely more true. I am always criticizing my mom. I should stop criticizing her because I don't like how it feels when I am doing it. It doesn't seem to make her feel any better. If I want her to stop criticizing me, it feels better, more empowering to start

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               n change your belief system forever.

               Once you have answered the four questions, take your statement and perform the turnarounds.

               1. Turn your statement around to the opposite. For example, if your statement is, "My mom should stop criticizing me," write down, "My mom shouldn't stop criticizing me," and find three genuine examples of how that could be just as true or truer. Go in and find how this turnaround could be just as true or truer than the original statement/belief which is causing you so much stress

                  She shouldn't because she is just expressing her own opinion, and she has a right to do that. She shouldn't because sometimes her criticism actually helps me re-evaluate my decisions and come to new and better conclusions. She shouldn't because that is her way, and perhaps it is just me who sees it as criticism anyway (when I take it personally).

               
               
               2. Turn your statement around to the other. For example, "I should stop criticizing my mom," and find three genuine examples of how that is as true or truer.

                  That is definitely more true. I am always criticizing my mom. I should stop criticizing her because I don't like how it feels when I am doing it. It doesn't seem to make her feel any better. If I want her to stop criticizing me, it feels better, more empowering to start with me, to see if I can do what I expect her to do so easily. To think that she should do something that I can't even do feels dishonest and totally unrealistic.

               
               
               3. Turn your statement around to yourself. For example, "I should stop criticizing me," and find three genuine examples of how that is as true or truer in your life. How do you criticize yourself, using your mom's words?

               Yes, I should stop criticizing me, using my mom's words, over and over in my mind when she isn't even there. I should stop criticizing me because it doesn't feel good, it isn't helpful and it is in direct opposition to what I am saying I want and need in my life. If I could stop criticizing me that would be the most liberating. I am harder on myself than my mom is.

            Whatever you find is perfect and will help you learn and grow, and to know yourself and your mother more intimately.

            Give your mom (and yourself) the best Mother's Day present ever by using The Work of Byron Katie to investigate any thought that would keep you from genuine love and appreciation for your mom. Do it now and enjoy expressing that love and appreciation to her this Sunday May 13, 2007.

            To find out more about The Work of Byron Katie, visit Katie's site http://www.thework.com/ and read Katie's book, Loving What Is.