chemistry clicks in, the time of decision arrives. They are mutually attracted. They can fan the flames or pull back. When either or both are married the decision has already become stressful: jeopardize a marriage or lose a new potential lover. Deciding to maintain both relationships, a third choice, leads to secrecy and deception that magnifies the stress. Moral consideration and guilt also come into play.

Divorce bring grief and stress all its own. Breaking off an affair brings grief and stress. And then there are the variations with which we are all familiar

Affairs between coworkers are not something new. For the most part the common reaction among the onlookers is one of surprise. Sometimes it is also one of criticism or condemnation. Occasionally it also provokes jealousy, as was the recent unprecedented case among the astronauts. Looked at from a broader perspective, affairs at work bear much in common with affairs at church. But it should come as no surprise that married people fall in love with coworkers at work and at church.

Consider: it is an accepted truism among behavioral researchers that as people we are capable of falling love any number of times during our lifetime, whether married or not. When we get close to a person who displays admirable traits and who is attractive we react accordingly. That is the way humans are wired.

Consider: the workplace is where people generally speaking are at their best. We dress well for work. We behave well at work. We bring energy to work. We are diplomatic, charming, sensitive and responsive at work. We go along to get along. We accept challenges and do great things at work.

It is only after work, when we go home, that we dress down, run out of energy and often become rather blunt and irritable. As a whole, our nation continues to become increasingly productive. This means longer hours, more intense sophisticated work skills, more intelligent and creative behavior. What we see in others at work sharply contrasts with what we see at home in those we live with. Likewise, we look much better to the people we work with than to the people we live with!

Simply put: the best that most of us have to offer happens at work. Focus, energy, brainpower, discipline, personality: these shine through in the workplace. At home most of us slop around in old clothes, take naps, make idiotic remarks and recover for the next round of work challenges. A perfect symbolism for this is the commercial with the man attempting to barbecue in the back yard. He sets the meat on fire, trips over the garden hose he drags out to douse the fire and ends up knocking the flaming mess over while the dog barks and he lies sprawled on the lawn. His wife closes the blinds because she doesn't want to watch.

When two coworkers notice they are "right" for each other and the chemistry clicks in, the time of decision arrives. They are mutually attracted. They can fan the flames or pull back. When either or both are married the decision has already become stressful: jeopardize a marriage or lose a new potential lover. Deciding to maintain both relationships, a third choice, leads to secrecy and deception that magnifies the stress. Moral consideration and guilt also come into play.

Divorce bring grief and stress all its own. Breaking off an affair brings grief and stress. And then there are the variations with which we are all familiar.

e capable of falling love any number of times during our lifetime, whether married or not. When we get close to a person who displays admirable traits and who is attractive we react accordingly. That is the way humans are wired.

Consider: the workplace is where people generally speaking are at their best. We dress well for work. We behave well at work. We bring energy to work. We are diplomatic, charming, sensitive and responsive at work. We go along to get along. We accept challenges and do great things at work.

It is only after work, when we go home, that we dress down, run out of energy and often become rather blunt and irritable. As a whole, our nation continues to become increasingly productive. This means longer hours, more intense sophisticated work skills, more intelligent and creative behavior. What we see in others at work sharply contrasts with what we see at home in those we live with. Likewise, we look much better to the people we work with than to the people we live with!

Simply put: the best that most of us have to offer happens at work. Focus, energy, brainpower, discipline, personality: these shine through in the workplace. At home most of us slop around in old clothes, take naps, make idiotic remarks and recover for the next round of work challenges. A perfect symbolism for this is the commercial with the man attempting to barbecue in the back yard. He sets the meat on fire, trips over the garden hose he drags out to douse the fire and ends up knocking the flaming mess over while the dog barks and he lies sprawled on the lawn. His wife closes the blinds because she doesn't want to watch.

When two coworkers notice they are "right" for each other and the chemistry clicks in, the time of decision arrives. They are mutually attracted. They can fan the flames or pull back. When either or both are married the decision has already become stressful: jeopardize a marriage or lose a new potential lover. Deciding to maintain both relationships, a third choice, leads to secrecy and deception that magnifies the stress. Moral consideration and guilt also come into play.

Divorce bring grief and stress all its own. Breaking off an affair brings grief and stress. And then there are the variations with which we are all familiar

t we dress down, run out of energy and often become rather blunt and irritable. As a whole, our nation continues to become increasingly productive. This means longer hours, more intense sophisticated work skills, more intelligent and creative behavior. What we see in others at work sharply contrasts with what we see at home in those we live with. Likewise, we look much better to the people we work with than to the people we live with!

Simply put: the best that most of us have to offer happens at work. Focus, energy, brainpower, discipline, personality: these shine through in the workplace. At home most of us slop around in old clothes, take naps, make idiotic remarks and recover for the next round of work challenges. A perfect symbolism for this is the commercial with the man attempting to barbecue in the back yard. He sets the meat on fire, trips over the garden hose he drags out to douse the fire and ends up knocking the flaming mess over while the dog barks and he lies sprawled on the lawn. His wife closes the blinds because she doesn't want to watch.

When two coworkers notice they are "right" for each other and the chemistry clicks in, the time of decision arrives. They are mutually attracted. They can fan the flames or pull back. When either or both are married the decision has already become stressful: jeopardize a marriage or lose a new potential lover. Deciding to maintain both relationships, a third choice, leads to secrecy and deception that magnifies the stress. Moral consideration and guilt also come into play.

Divorce bring grief and stress all its own. Breaking off an affair brings grief and stress. And then there are the variations with which we are all familiar

e through in the workplace. At home most of us slop around in old clothes, take naps, make idiotic remarks and recover for the next round of work challenges. A perfect symbolism for this is the commercial with the man attempting to barbecue in the back yard. He sets the meat on fire, trips over the garden hose he drags out to douse the fire and ends up knocking the flaming mess over while the dog barks and he lies sprawled on the lawn. His wife closes the blinds because she doesn't want to watch.

When two coworkers notice they are "right" for each other and the chemistry clicks in, the time of decision arrives. They are mutually attracted. They can fan the flames or pull back. When either or both are married the decision has already become stressful: jeopardize a marriage or lose a new potential lover. Deciding to maintain both relationships, a third choice, leads to secrecy and deception that magnifies the stress. Moral consideration and guilt also come into play.

Divorce bring grief and stress all its own. Breaking off an affair brings grief and stress. And then there are the variations with which we are all familiar

chemistry clicks in, the time of decision arrives. They are mutually attracted. They can fan the flames or pull back. When either or both are married the decision has already become stressful: jeopardize a marriage or lose a new potential lover. Deciding to maintain both relationships, a third choice, leads to secrecy and deception that magnifies the stress. Moral consideration and guilt also come into play.

Divorce bring grief and stress all its own. Breaking off an affair brings grief and stress. And then there are the variations with which we are all familiar. There can be love affairs between bosses and workers. There can be trophy wives. There can be transitional affairs or marriages. There can be same sex love affairs. And so on and so forth! Television entertainment keeps us informed about all the possible variations. All of these possibilities create management challenges. No matter what the policy (which needs to be very carefully considered and periodically reviewed) these situations present nightmares for management and each in their own way play havoc with the people involved, those looking on and the well being of the company or organization.

The grief that comes of these situations is an example of stress that cannot be left at home because it is in fact generated in the workplace. The workplace is not usually geared to acknowledge or deal with stress, certainly not with this type of stress. When one or both involved parties are executives the stress can be even more intense and present even more serious implications for the company. Many a family-owned company has gone down in flames because of the issues these situations set in motion.

There is no stock answer, no pat solultion, no magical policy to cover all the possibilities. The starting point, however, is to review existing policy and make sure to proceed within that policy. It is also wise to consider turning to an outside competent and discreet professional for consultation and guidance before leaping into action.

Folklore tells individuals considering marriage that to marry in haste means they will repent at leisure. The variation of this advice to company executives considering how to respond to workplace affairs would be "Look before you leap."